Yes, “Not All Men” — But That’s the Problem

How changing our focus can make us better allies

1. Value Women

People do not wake up and decide to start abusing women for no reason. Such actions ultimately begin with beliefs about women somehow having less value or agency than men.

2. Believe Women

Affirming women who choose to share their experiences does not require blind acceptance of all accusations; writer Christina H gave an excellent analogy in the context of rape allegations: “‘Believe rape victims’ is a fraught phrase, but what I mean is that when a woman first claims she has been raped, we should give her the same credibility as a typical car theft victim.”

3. Amplify Women

In a society historically dominated by the voices of men, we each have opportunities to use our platforms for letting women be heard.

4. Empower Women

At the outset I mentioned a desire to protect women from danger; while not a bad instinct, it can end up more harmful than helpful. If you try to spare women from ever encountering dangerous situations, you can block their access to powerful opportunities. Such attempts at sheltering usually become condescending or infantilizing as well.

Further Reading

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An analytical romantic. I help people understand how they fit into the world.

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Joey Tyson

An analytical romantic. I help people understand how they fit into the world.